My Heart Is Breaking

I read about this baby girl who is in the hospital with a heart condition. This story is breaking my heart for 2 reasons. 1) because my own little sweetie is very sick right now and I know how I feel about not being able to bring my baby home to hold whenever I want to and I know how depressing a hospital environment is. 2) because this little sweetheart is in a VERY SERIOUS situation where the end could be devastating results. I need EVERYONE to lift this little one up with their prayers. Please tell everyone you know to pray for this family and their precious baby girl Gracie. She has overcome so many things already. Pray that a new donor heart is made available quickly and that she is able to withstand yet another LONG surgery. Pray that our Lord and Savior heals her heart here on earth so that this family may know the joy of watching this child thrive and grow to be and do all that HE created her to accomplish. Also, if it is not the Lord's way to make Gracie whole here on earth, pray that her family has peace, love, and support during the difficult times.

Lord, I come to you in prayer for this sweet baby Gracie. I ask that you station angels of protection around her so that she may know no pain and suffering. Lord, I know that you are Almighty and that you will do what you have made to be your plan. I pray that you guide these doctors in their knowledge and skill so that they may do all that is humanly possible to save this child. Protect her family's heart during this time and continue to lead them down the right path in making medical decisions for sweet Gracie. Be with her siblings during this time so that they may feel your love and strength as they worry and wait for news of Gracie's recovery. Please Lord, I'm on my knees for you today, I humbly beg you to hear the cries in my heart for this family. Bless them Father as you see fit. AMEN.

Contest From a SUPER TALENTED Writer!!!!

My new friend over at Robynn's Ravings is promoting a contest. She can explain it better than I can, but entry is super simple. The prize is 2 $5o gift cards (one for each of the 2 winners!!!) to Amazon. Head over to her blog and check it out!!! She is a fantastic writer. I highly recommend that you become a follower of her blog. So head over and check it out. sign up! You might just win something. Oh, and if you tell her I sent you, I get an extra entry! Thanks in advance. I promise you won't regret reading her words.

Just My Luck...Act 2

You know that old saying, "when life gives us lemons, make lemonade?"
Well, I've tried that and I keep coming up with prune juice!!!! Don't know if anyone knows this, but I am blind as a bat without my glasses on. I'm actually legally blind in my right eye. my mom use to say, "I'm blind in one and and can't see out of the other." Well, here I was just sitting with my Laneybug, keeping her company while she slept, when I moved my hand up to adjust my glasses to a more comfy place on my nose. Well, guess what? I broke them! That's right. The leg came completely off the frame and the lens fell out and the little "rod like thing" that holds the leg to the frame broke in half. so are they fixable? NO. Can I afford new ones? NO. Can I see an inch in front of my face? NO. Can I drive my car without glasses? NO. So what am I going to do? NOTHING. Guess I'll just finish going blind while I sit here with my face pressed up to the keyboard of my laptop. Hope everyone is having a better day than me. God, please let tomorrow be better. I can't take much more.

I♥Faces

This week I decided to take part in a photo contest. You can get more info at this blog. This week's category is black and white. Join in the fun!!!

Just My Luck

You know, I'm really getting to the point where I have a difficult time believing my own misfortune. If it was anyone else telling me all the bad things that keep happening to us I would probably at this point start to doubt if there was any truth to anything being told. I would think to myself, there's no way anyone family could have so much misfortune piled upon them at one time. However, I have the misfortune of living this life, so I can say with one hundred percent certainty that it IS possible to have the worst luck on the planet. If it can happen to us, then it does. Again and again and again! Today, instead of spending my time taking care of Delaney's pneumonia, do you know what I was doing? Just guess? I was in the emergency room being treated for throat restriction! It started with a funny feeling in the left side of my throat (my left tonsil) next thing I know, my throat feels like it's closing up and I'm starting to panic because I can't breathe as well as I have grown accustomed to. You know, before today I never realized how much I really enjoy breathing. So there I was, swelling up in the throat and thinking I was about to go to GLORY when I realize that my feet are swelling and my hands and my face. EVERYWHERE!!!! So this is when we discover that I am having an allergic reaction. What, you may ask, am I learning is the cause of this ailment? SOAP!!! Yes, I said soap. Plain old, ordinary, run of the mill bath soap. Dial Cranberry Glycerin to be more technical. Who is pathetic enough to ALMOST "go to Glory" over taking a shower with a new kind of soap??? ME, THAT'S WHO!!!! I feel like such a wimp. And I feel like an idiot on top of that. To make matters worse, the doctor says that it may take 3-4 days for the swelling in my throat to completely go away. I can't even swallow. I'm now taking prednisolone, Benedryl, and an antibiotic. Apparently, when your tonsils swell as big as mine did, they run the risk of getting infected. I guess I'm taking the antibiotics to try to prevent infection. BUT, if it can possibly happen to us, it most likely will. So for now, I am sitting here watching my poor little Laneybug fight off her pneumonia while I patiently wait for the infection that will inevitably arrive to set up residence in my swollen throat.

Prayer

It's been a very LONG and rough week. Lord, please give us strength because right now we are sorely lacking the ability to take another week like this one!

My favorite 8 year old.....Happy Birthday Destiny

I apologize in advance for this long post with all my old pictures thrown in for good measure. I am feeling old this week. My sweet oldest daughter, Destiny, is now my sweet 8 year old! Yes, it's true, my "baby" is an 8 year old. I feel old. I feel like I am getting cheated. She is not old enough to be turning 8. There simply must be some mistake! I do not want her to be so grown up. Wouldn't it be great if we could keep them little a tad bit longer? So anyway, today I pay tribute to my sweet Destiny, my favorite 8 year old. Happy belated birthday sweetheart! When sissy is feeling better, the two of us are going to have us a "mommy and Destiny day!" This was taken when Destiny was just 2 days old. She was born February 19, 2001. She weighed 6 pounds and 8 ounces.

This was taken when she was 17 days old. The outfit she was wearing is special because my dad picked it out by himself. I have photos of all 3 of my girls wearing this outfit when they were each 17 days old.

This is another picture from when she was 17 days old. I really miss her being that tiny!

This is a photo from her 1st birthday. I actually have a 16x20 of this one hanging on my wall at home.

This was taken at Easter when Destiny was 14 months old. The dress she is wearing was made by my mother-in-law!

She was 18 months old in this. I think she looks like she's saluting!

This was taken on her 2nd birthday. She was such a sweet little toddler. I loved her solemn little smile at this age!

This one was when she was 2 years and 5 months old. We took her and new baby sister Paisley for Paisley's 17 day photo. She put this hat on all by herself.

She was 2 years and 8 months in this picture. I loved her in those colors!

This was her Christmas photo that year. She was 2 years and 10 months old. She looks so much older than that to me!

This is her 3rd birthday picture. She grows too quickly!

She was 3 and 1/2 in this one. I swear she was such a camera hog in those days. We must have taken 75 pictures that day. This was from when I still worked at Olan-mills portait studio.

Her 4th birthday. I was working at Sears Portrait Studio at this time. She was tired of pictures by the time we got this one. Who could blame her? I have WAY too many pictures!!!!

Here she is at 4 and 1/2 years old. Don't you think she is the prettiest thing ever?

oh my, this is from her Cinderella craze! She was Cinderella for Halloween.

This is when my baby girl left the nest to go to pre-school. I think I took it harder than she did!

She was almost 5 in this Christmas picture, She was really reading the book and i almost didn't get any more pics after this one because she didn't want to put the book away.

Here she is at Christmas again. I couldn't decide between 2 dresses that I really liked so she had 2 Christmas dresses that year. And, of course, I had to get pictures of both. I love her expression in this one.

This picture always makes me smile because she looks so happy in this.

This was on her 5th birthday. She was so crazy at 5. I can't believe that I made it through that age alive!
This was taken the day my baby graduated from kindergarten. I was so proud to see her get that diploma. You'd have thought she was graduating college!
This is on her 6th birthday. I love every freckle on her sweet little face! She looks just like her daddy in this picture.
This is from when she turned 7 years old. Our school picture day was on her birthday this year so I took my chances and let the school picture take the place of our annual birthday photo session. I think it turned out pretty good!

This is her Christmas picture from this past Christmas 2008. She was 7 years and 10 months in this one. My goodness, she's growing up too fast for me!
I will post one of her 8th year photos as soon as I am able to take some.

Unfortunately, with Delaney so sick, I haven't had a whole lot of time for my little birthday girl. I did spend her birthday with her though. I just didn't have my camera with me. Shame on me! I will try to update on Delaney's pneumonia later.

Home Away From Home....AGAIN

It's been awhile since my last post. Things have been incredibly hard for the last few weeks. We had a family emergency and had to go to North Carolina VERY suddenly. When we finally returned 2 days later, my sweet little Delaney had developed a terrible cough that QUICKLY spiraled into full blown RSV. Her O2 sats were running at 80% by the time we got her to the hospital. Even on oxygen and steroids her little lungs just wouldn't heal. We've stayed with her the entire time, but I must say, it was hard to explain to our older girls why we were leaving them in the care of someone else AGAIN!!!! I think they are starting to feel abandoned or like they aren't as special as Laney because we have had to devote so much time to her since her birth. I feel horrible. I just try to spread my time out evenly, but when I have one in the hospital unable to breathe on her own I just feel like I need to be there. I mean, what if she wakes up and I'm not there? What if she's afraid and I'm not there to take her little hands in mine and just "be there" for her? I know I need to give all 3 girls the same amount of attention, but I just kind of feel like she needs me more than they do right now. There are so many people helping Destiny and Paisley right now. They have been getting lots of attention and great care. I know its not a substitute for having mom and dad around all hours of the day, but I'm honestly just doing the best that I can with what we've been given. I am so afraid of losing Delaney. She has had to deal with so much. I worry about the hole in her heart and the tachycardia episodes she's been having. I pray that the Lord will heal her little lungs and heart. I need this little girl so badly and I don't care if that's wrong. I am just so exhausted. We are all exhausted. I've always said that God won't give us anything without giving us the strength to handle it. BUT COME ON ALREADY!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! We've weathered the storm for over 2 years now. We've been from loss, to birth, to near loss of Laney, to my husband's brain surgery, then heart surgery, then shunt placements, and numerous hospitalizations of Laney and my husband. ARGHHHHHHH!!! I could just scream!!! I know this is all just a test of my faith and with the Lord on my side we can weather any storm. The disgusting little serpent is not going to win this battle. However, all prayer for strength will be greatly appreciated right now. Please pray that my precious Delaney has the strength to keep fighting through this illness and pray that she finds comfort in us being with her during this time. Also, please pray that my girls find understanding and that they will come to know how much we really love them too! Pray for my husband, as he is having a hard time seeing our sweet girl so sick. And lastly, if you will, pray for me to find peace in my heart, as I have been having so many negative thoughts and feelings of anger towards our situation. Thank you all.

A New Me....Maybe?

I don't normally discuss myself openly. I have this fear of opening up to people about personal matters. But today I will step outside of my comfort zone and just come right out and put myself out there. I am over weight. I have been most of my life and I've dealt with it. I am not ashamed of my myself. I happen to think that my inner beauty is just as important as my outer beauty. However, I have been feeling the need to get healthy for the sake of my children, I intend to be around in this old world for as long as the Good Lord is willing to breathe life into me. I want to watch my children grow up and leave their mark on the world. I want to play with my grandchildren. Heck, I'm ambitious! I want to play with my great grandchildren! Lately, I've realized that maybe I need to worry over my weight a little more than I have in the past. Don't get me wrong, I don't really enjoy being over weight. I have struggled for years to shed the pounds. i have even at times felt like a prisoner in my own body. I have cried over and prayed about and even been depressed about my inability to lose weight. It seems like no matter what i do, the scale just won't budge. I eventually got to the point where I would shut my eyes at the doctor, just so that I wouldn't see those numbers rising on that torture device scale. It gets so overwhelming because I really do work hard to lose the weight! It just doesn't work.....USUALLY. Today I went to the doctor for a follow up visit on my blood pressure. It was elevated last month and they wanted to check it again. I am happy to report that I have lost (drum roll please!!!!) 14 pounds in 4 weeks!!!!! I know that may not seem like much, but to me it is a miracle! I hope that I am able to keep up whatever it is that helped me lose the weight. If anyone has any suggestions that may help me with my road to a newer, thinner Kaleena, please clue me in!!! I will take all the support and help that I can get. I need to lose another 46 pounds to be at my goal weight. Please pray for me to have the strength to stay out of the kitchen become the me I really want to be.