Dwellings of a Worried Mommy

I have spent most of the last few days mulling things over in my mind. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I dwell on things WAY TOO MUCH! I have spent pretty much most of my time thinking about Delaney's surgery. My little Delaney has eye surgery scheduled for January 21. I know I should be focusing my time and energy on other things, but for some reason I just can't get my mind off of this impending surgery. She's had surgeries before, but this one just feels different. Maybe because it's on her eyes? I don't know.

Delaney has had several health problems in her short life. She was born premature and it was a struggle to even get her to eat. Not to mention all the other "bigger" things she had a hard time doing. At one point we were actually told to bring in our family minister to help us come to terms with what would inevitably be our loss. They were sure we would not be bringing her home with us. Among other problems, I was unable to breastfeed her, as I did the other 2 girls, and the formula they had her on was making her seriously ill. I must say, the hospital tried her on EVERY formula ever made! She was eventually placed on 3232-a. That is a formula for feeding tubes. It contains nothing-therefore, it is nearly impossible to get sick on 3232-a. Unfortunately, it took us a month in the hospital before they found the right milk for her. By that time, she had been diagnosed with severe allergies to just about everything digestible. We were also informed that she will have to avoid gluten and milk protein. The GI specialist diagnosed her with Hirschsprung's disease, and started spouting out words like "colostomy" and "villi" and "celiac". Do they just assume that normal people will understand what all that means? All I understood was that my baby was sick and they weren't curing her quick enough to satisfy me. It hurt to look at her all hooked up to all that equipment. I wanted to take my new baby home and be a family. I did not want to spend Christmas in the hospital waiting on a nurse to grant me permission to hold or touch my baby. I wanted to go home and spend her 1st Christmas with her sisters. They eventually got her "healthy" enough to treat the Hirschsprung's. FYI....colostomy's are not any fun!!!! We were in the hospital for all of December, January, February, and most of March! I felt like we had moved into the Children's Hospital. She has had several procedures done on her stomach over the past year. Anyway....I try hard to remember that she always bounces back quickly. Especially when all I want to do is shield her from the struggles of yet another hospital stay, and yet another round of pain and suffering. Yet, I know deep down that my sweet baby girl has more strength than I could ever have. I am very proud of her and all of her accomplishments. Above is a picture of her in the hospital. This is one of the better pictures of her. It was taken after she was unhooked from all the machines. She was getting better and we were getting ready to take her home. Sometimes doctors don't know as much as they think they do!

Alright, enough dwelling on the negative, Delaney's past has shown me that everything will be okay in the end. With God in our corner, we can make it through anything!