Blessed Indeed

~~~If you haven't seen the dresses I made the girls to wear on Christmas, please see the post below this one!~~~

Oh wow, I don't even know how to begin to find the words to put in this post. A few weeks ago I wrote about some gifts that we bought for the kids-a Barbie doll each for the 2 oldest and a play tent for the little one, then little rocking chairs for each of them. I was thrilled just to be able to get them anything, but I will be honest when I admit that I was sad that we couldn't do more.
While I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts under the tree, I still get great enjoyment out of seeing the excitement on those 3 little faces when they unwrap a new treasure:)

A dear friend of ours sent us a gift in the mail and I was able to take that gift and go shopping for my girls! I am blown away by the generosity of this dear friend who wanted nothing in return for her kindness. She just wanted to make our Christmas a little brighter. Well, I tell you friend, you sure did! Because of her kindness, we were able to put a few more gifts under the tree for our girls. Curious about what we got them? Come back after Christmas and see for yourself:) I plan to take lots of pictures. And, friend, if YOU'RE reading this, please know that what you have done for my family is something that I will NEVER forget as long as I live. I hope that next year we are able to pay your kindness forward by helping another family as you have helped us this year.

This has turned into the best Christmas season ever for us. We are all home (no one in the hospital this year!!!), we are all pretty much as healthy as we'll ever be, we have plenty to eat, a roof over our heads, our little Sugar has made a full recovery (thanks again to YOU....you know who you are!!!), we have great family, great friends (new and old), and we have each other. What more could we possibly ask for? Oh, I know! For all of you to have a very Merry Christmas too!!!!

Life Is Good

I got a package in the mail today, with this sticker in it. This sticker is the first thing I noticed when I opened the box.
A few of the other contents of this "treasure box" included some art supplies for the girls to enjoy and some DVD's for them to watch. Also included was a signed card with a little cash stuffed inside. It was totally unexpected, but appreciated. I split the money 3 ways and let the girls put it in their piggy banks. Laney loves to feed her piggy!
But still, the thing that most caught my attention was the sticker, or rather, the words on the sticker.

Yes, Vicky, life IS good! Thanks for the reminder!

Thank You Friends/Not-So-Dear Anonymous

I'm blown away by the offers of help I have received regarding our school clothing/school supply situation. I have gotten so many offers of help from friends I hardly know. I am speechless. Everyone has made such good suggestions or made generous offers of help to us. I've even had quite a few friends make suggestions as to what we could try as far as transportation goes. I'm just blown away. I know I've already said that, but it's really all I know to say. It's really been a blessing to meet all of you who care about my family with open hearts and open minds. I'm so lucky to have all of you as my friend. Please know that when I wrote those posts, venting my stress and frustrations, I had NO IDEA that you all would take the stress and ramblings of a worried momma and offer up so many prayers and kind hearted comments. I had hoped...wished really, for a few extra prayers, aside from my own, to be offered up to God's ears. I had hoped for some of you to join me in prayer for my struggles and stress. Mostly, I just hoped for someone to listen, to hear my worries and maybe offer a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Someone to tell me that I am not a failure to my girls and that I am not alone. I got that and so much more. I WAS NOT soliciting money or an easy way out. Really.

I am pointing this out because I got a comment from my not-so-good friend anonymous. They drop in from time to time. You know, to make sure that I am as miserable as they seem to be. This time, a small part of what anonymous says, "Looks like all you want is someone to give you an EZ way out and save you from spending a few $$ on the kid so that you can afford to buy a car. They are a lot of people who really are in need. Shame on you." Thank you anonymous. I'm glad you see me so clearly. I'm sure that my other friends are glad to have that pointed out to them also. Now they know your version of the true story. Can you point out to me, where in any of my posts have I asked for anyone to offer to buy, send, or donate anything in the effort to save a few $$ (as you put it) so that I may buy a car? If you can show me where I was soliciting donations, I'll gladly delete my blog posts and close up this little "scheme" at once. I'm sorry that my inability to provide for my family has ruffled your feathers. In deed, I should be ashamed. I never realized that asking for a shoulder to lean on or an ear to bend would result in an act of solicitation. Please forgive me if any of you have felt that I am trying to lean on your sympathy and extract favors from you for my own personal gain. I assure you, that was not my intention at all. Believe me, if I had any money, I would gladly buy the things my girls need BEFORE trying to buy a car. The cost of school supplies/clothing is small compared to the money I need to secure a down payment on a new-used car. It would certainly be easier to come up with a small amount for school stuff than it would be to come up with a large amount for a car.
Maybe that's what I was doing last month- saving my money for a car instead of paying my electric bill. You know, last month, when I still had no idea that my car was going to be taken by the bank. Last month when I woke up to a knock on the door. Last month, when I answered that knock to find the electric company handing me a shut-off notice. Last month, when I stood on the porch, still in my nightgown, crying and begging the man to give me just until payday. Just one more day until Friday. While he shut off our electricity anyway and told me to have a nice day. Maybe I was squirrelling away our money, taking from our children, so that I can have a new car. Maybe that's been my motivation for everything! Take from my child(ren)-yes that's children, not kid, as you put it, but children-plural (as in more than one) because I have 3 children to provide for. Add my husband and I and that equals 5 mouths to feed. We're doing the best we can with what we have. We're struggling, but we weren't always. Not that it's any of your business Mr./Ms. Anonymous. We were doing pretty good until last summer, until the surgeries and the 8 months off work with little to no income coming in. We had savings and a good car and NO HEALTH INSURANCE. Fast forward 1 year, one heart surgery, chiari decompression and suboccipital laminectomy ( I can see those words in my nightmares!), one LONG ICU and CCU stay and a horrible amount of time in the hospital with our Laneybug, and what have you come up with? I'll tell you, Anonymous, WE came up with $291,000 of medical debt with our names on the billing address. Not that it's any of YOUR business. This is the last time I'll bother trying to explain this to you Anonymous, the last time you will get to me with your narrow-minded way of thinking. Insult me, or my intentions as you wish. But DO NOT insinuate that I care more for myself than my children. You don't know me well enough to make that kind of assumption. Stop visiting my blog if you don't like my ways. Keep your opinions to yourself. I don't really care too much about reading anymore of them anyway. End of subject, case closed.

Thank you, to Tim who offered to go through Taylor's closet for some gently used clothes for the girls. I appreciate the offer and am sorry that it didn't work out. Taylor and my girls are in the same size, but your offer was kind and your heart was in the right place. I'm glad to know you and be your friend.

Thank you to Jackie, my sister in Christ, whom I only just met through a comment when she happened upon my blog. Your offer of school supplies was VERY generous, and I am grateful to meet such a kind-hearted friend. I hope we remain in contact. My world is a brighter place because of people like you. I am also glad that your church family will be getting the school supply help that you so kindly offered to me. As I said before, I would have felt horrible taking from your community when so many others are far worse off than we are. I'm so glad that your church is there to offer them the help they need. Your heart, too, was in the right place. I am also glad that the children's backpacks from last year are in good shape. I would have hated to take advantage of your generosity. Bless you Jackie for your kind heart!

Thank you Verna for your offer of searching thrift stores and rummage sales for my girls to have something to wear to school on those first few days back. I'm sorry if I sounded horrible in my email to you. I really just feel horrible accepting help from someone who hardly knows me. As I said in my email, I really appreciate the offer to help, but I really hate the idea of troubling you. I'm sure we can figure something out eventually. Times will not always be this rough. Out Lord will provide. I still have my faith.

Thank you Vicky and everyone else (too many to name without turning this into a novel) for offering advice and an ear to listen. I am so glad to be friends with such fine, kind people!

I will try to post on lighter, happier topics in the future. From now on, all I will solicit is your smiles and maybe a bit of laughter now and then. Blessing dear friends! Have a glorious day!
I'll be back later with some pictures of my beautiful girls. Remember, I HAVE been playing with my sister's Canon rebel for a week now, and I'm just bursting to show you the results of my temporary trade.

Happy Birthday To ME!!!

Thanks for the help with deleting that mean comment. I was able to easily remove it this morning. All is well in McNabb Land today. Today is my 27th birthday and I have a busy day planned. I hope to have lots of pictures to post later. I hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday!
Also, please pray for my friend Jill's sister. Jill's sis is expecting a baby boy. She is having some complications and will be in the hospital until the baby is born. Keep them in your prayers.

My Sweet Laney

I really want to say thank you for praying for Delaney again. It seems like lately, all I ever do is request prayer for one of my children (or sometimes all 3) because one or more is always unhealthy. Did you know that Delaney was 18 months old on May 30th? I don't think I mentioned it in a post. It seems like I have spent the last 18 months in fear-fear that I'll lose my Laney. It's on my mind constantly, every time she gets sick and even when she's healthier than ever. When she was in the hospital after her birth, they told us she would not be coming home with us. Her little body was failing her and she was just too weak to fight. They said there was nothing they could do. I cried, I screamed, I begged, and I pleaded. I told them they were wrong. I told them there was no way that they could be right. I told them that I would fight FOR her. If she was too weak, she could rest. MY God is strong. MY God would fight for her. MY God could and would heal her and I WOULD take her home. I was so angry with them for giving up on her. I was angry that she was not healthy. I was angry that I had to be afraid for my tiny little girl. That is the moment that I really started to pray. I hit my knees and I begged my Father not to take away my baby girl. And then, I told Him that I was placing my baby girl in HIS loving hands. I told God that I was placing my love and trust in Him. I trusted Him to do what was right for Delaney. I promised to take the good with the bad, to let Him do His will, even if it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to give her back to God, but I would if that was His plan. I was thrilled to walk out of that hospital 3 months later with my baby in my arms. Not quite healed and whole, but ALIVE! Since her birth, Delaney has traveled a rocky path. She does not go it alone, though. My Father is Her Father. As much as I love her, HE loves her so much MORE. He walks with her, or carries her when she is too weak to walk on her own. I placed my faith in His hands all those 18 months ago, and I never took it back. I will not take it back now.
I don't know what is in store for Delaney and the doctor's really don't either. Only He knows what will happen to our sweet girl. He's known all along. We just have to wait for His plan to unfold.

Delaney is not comfortably resting. She had a very hard night with very little "good" sleep. Her fever only fades while the Motrin is newly in her system. As the hours pass, the fever returns. I don't understand why this came on so suddenly. We are waiting for cultures to come back from the lab. I was told it will be a few days before we have answers about infections/bacteria. They assume she has a bacterial infection in her intestines. As of right now, they are saying she has enterocolitis. Right now, decisions are being made as to what treatment we will go with. We've discussed an NG tube, possible colostomy, and in the near future, the pull-through procedure for the Hirschsprung's disease. Her abdominal distention is causing her respiratory problems. Often, when there is severe abdominal distention, it can cause a respiratory insufficiency. So we are waiting for the doctor to make some decisions on the best treatment plan for her. I fully expect her to get the NG tube sometime today. Please continue to pray. Enterocolitis can be very dangerous and I am very worried about my little Laneybug. As for now, I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic while praying with the rest of you. I'll continue to update as we get more info.

MRI Results Are In

I know that many of you have been praying for me from the very beginning of my breast cancer scare. I want to take the time to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your prayers and comments. I will never be able to fully convey how grateful I am for your support during such a difficult time. I am very happy, thrilled really, to tell you all that the prayers have been answered. My results were given to me today, and I tested NEGATIVE for breast cancer!!!!! Praise be to God Almighty for this fantastic news!

Delaney's Surgery Update

I am so very sorry that it has taken me so long to post this. I have been having a bit of trouble with my Internet. I keep getting bumped offline for some reason. Anyway.....on to the update.
We went Thursday, to Chattanooga for Delaney's surgery. It was actually done on Friday morning. She did well during the procedure. I was very pleased with how well she did. It was a little overwhelming for us, of course. I was not expecting her eyes to bleed afterwards. I also was not expecting her to be so nauseous for so long after. When she wasn't throwing up, she was sleeping. When she wasn't doing that, she was crying those awful bloody tears! But I digress...
She made it through and we were able to bring her home on Sunday morning. Delaney did have a bit of an elevated temperature and was a bit tachycardic after the surgery, but all in all, she did fantastic and we are thrilled! I am also thrilled to report that Delaney seems to be seeing better than before, though only time (and a follow up appointment) will tell! Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please pray that we do not have to do this again! I don't think I can take anymore stress. I need a break!!
On an unrelated note....PLEASE pray for Stellan. He is MckMama's little baby boy. He is in the hospital having SVT's. This is Supra Ventricular Tachycardia. It is very serious and his heart rate has been up to 300bpm for too long now. Please pray and send them all strength to deal with this.

Live from Chattanooga

We are here, in Chattanooga for Delaney's surgery, which will take place tomorrow (Friday, March 20, 2009) at the Children's Hospital. Please keep her in your prayers tomorrow as you go about your day. Her surgery will begin early (still not sure what time) and I'm not sure how long it will last. The surgeon will be able to tell us more info in the morning. I am so nervous about this. If you feel compelled to, please pray for my husband and I also. We live so far away from this hospital that none of our family was able to come be with us during her surgery, so we will be going through this alone, with only each other for support. Pray that we feel peace and patience during her surgery. I will update on how she is doing as soon as I can tomorrow. Or you can follow my updates on Twitter. thank you all for your prayers!

Praising God!!!!

I've been waiting a LONG time to write this post(13 days actually!!) Guess who I brought HOME about an hour ago? PAISLEY!!!! I am honored, thrilled, and just plain proud to announce that my sweet girl was released from the hospital and we are now a complete family again. WOO HOO!!! SO,(in case you lost count)that means our happy little family of 5 is reunited (and it feels so good!!) Praise the Lord, HE is good! Unfortunately, our reunion will be short-lived, as our little Delaney will be admitted Thursday night for her surgery and we will have to spend several days away from home in a town several hours away from our tiny little home town. Thank you all so much for your prayers for my family over the last few weeks. I know that it was through those prayers that we were able to get this great homecoming we had this afternoon. Please continue to pray for my Delaney as her surgery is looming just ahead. I am a very worried momma. Also, if you could, pray that the Lord gives me rest and peace over the next few days, as I am just emotionally drained. I feel wrung out. Bless you all!

Look Who Is Finally Home!!!

Just look how good my sweet Delaney looks in these pictures! She came home yesterday and I got the pleasure of spending a few hours with her in the privacy of our home! It was great to be able to pick her up, hold her, and snuggle her without someone coming in to poke and prod her every half hour. She has been doing remarkably well for the last 24 hours and has been in such a great mood. She was thrilled to see her little chihuahua puppy again. His name is Tatertot. But she calls him Tot-Tot. I am so happy to have 2 of my girls home again. Now we just need to get Paisley better again, and the family will be complete again. Please keep praying for Delaney. Her surgery is the 20th of this month and I am worried about her having surgery again, so soon after being so sick. I always worry when they have to anesthetize one of my little ones anyway though. Several of you have asked what is wrong with Delaney's eyes that requires surgery. I'm sorry. I completely forget sometimes that not everyone knows us as well as some others do. Delaney had a staph infection (in her eye) as a very young infant (still in NICU). She was eventually diagnosed with Lacrimal Duct Stenosis. Not sure if it is related to the staph or not?? I was taking her to the eye doctor for the LDS. They eye doctor diagnosed her with Strabismus, which is a condition where your eyes don't look toward the same object together. One eye moves normally, while the other points inward (called esotropia.) This misalignment of eyes caused her to develop amblyopia. Long story short, they are going to be repairing the LDS and also the amblyopia. The amblyopia is pretty severe in her case and she is also farsighted. They tell me that everything she sees is blurry and that she only has vision in one eye anyway because the brain has shut off the signals to her right eye. Keep her in your prayers that this surgery will correct her vision and not make a bad situation worse (there is a risk of total blindness with the surgery).

Paisley is improving. She only has the "pop and crackle sound" in her right lung now. The doctor says the pneumonia is clearing up finally. We may be able to bring her home soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she improves quickly! I think we're finally out of the woods now with her. She lost another pound this week. I swear, she'll be super-model thin before this is over. She is eating a little better than before. She ate a chicken nugget and an apple slice yesterday. I think once the nausea subsides, she'll take up eating with a vengeance. Thank you all again for the prayers. I know that is what is helping us right now. I will try to post later and let everyone know how Paisley is doing today after the doc makes his rounds. God bless you all!

A New Update....Thank God for Happy Meals

I am sorry that I wasn't able to make an update yesterday. I had such a busy day that the hours just got away from me. Destiny is still home and doing as well as can be expected. We started her on a low dose medication for her anxiety. She is still in a "funk" as far as her mood goes. She's been pretty mopey and acting depressed. There's alot she just can't understand about why illness keeps happening to our family. She's such a sensitive little soul. She takes everything to heart and worries about everything. We are going to have to learn not to talk so openly around her. Paisley finally ate a little bit for dinner last night. It didn't stay down long, but it was still great to see her make any effort. Her color continues to improve. She looks a little healthier than she did before. She has lost a little more than 4 pounds now. Her little face looks thinner than ever, but the doctor is not too concerned over the weight loss. He said she can easily gain the weight back once she starts eating again. We look for that to be soon. She got up hungry this morning, but the food they brought her was just nasty and it made her nauseous. I sent my in-laws out for a Happy Meal so *fingers crossed* maybe she will eat that and keep it down. We want to bring her home as soon as possible. Delaney is looking fantastic. She will most definitely be healthy and home in enough time to take her to Chattanooga for her eye surgery. Crazy isn't it? After all this time in the hospital, we still have to take her to yet another hospital in 2 weeks for surgery. I just look forward to the surgery being over. We've already put it off twice for other reasons, so the build up of emotions is killing me. I think this time we'll actually have to go through with it. No more putting it off. Her eyes need to be fixed, we need her to see!!!! I am anxious to see her reaction to the colors and sights of the Springtime. I'm sure it will take some getting use to, but I know she'll love rainbows and birds and colors as much as her momma does! Just keep praying for my girls. I KNOW that the praying is what is making the girls feel better. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Thank you all for helping us pray for my little ones to be reunited at home. I know that we will all be home soon and feeling better than ever! Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to go ahead a start praying now that Delaney's eye surgery goes smoothly and is a big success!!! God Bless you all!

Destiny is HOME!!!!

I am terribly sorry that I wasn't able to update yesterday. It was such a busy day for me. We finally got in the results from the rest of Destiny's tests and were pleased with the results. She does not have chiari malformation. As it turns out, she is having horrible panic attacks. Her doctor said that it would make sense for a child as sensitive as Destiny to have panic attacks when something scary happens. In this case, what triggered her anxiety is having both sisters sick at the same time. She was so afraid that one or both of them are going to die that she just couldn't handle the fear of her thoughts. Our family has just been through so much in the last year or so. I guess I was wrong in assuming that the children were handling it all as well as I thought. I feel bad that she has all these fears and I didn't realize it. I am relieved that it's not something that will require surgery though. I was scared spitless. (Pardon the expression!)
Destiny came home late last night and is still worried about fainting, but we are all trying to help her rationalize her fears. She has always been a fragile child. I knew she was a worrier-just didn't know it went to that extent. Pray that we are able to help her deal with everything in a way that makes her more comfortable. Her father's brain surgery and heart surgery took such a toll on her. Delaney being born early was a trauma for her too, because we were at the hospital so much and for so long that I guess she was just afraid that meant Delaney was never coming home. Then when both sisters were sick, maybe it was just too much to pile on her little mind all at once? She and Paisley are so close. Best friends. I guess she was afraid of losing her best friend. The doctors are going to help us learn more about anxiety in children, so hopefully we will have our "old Destiny" back really soon.
Delaney is doing alot better this morning. We repeated her x-rays yesterday afternoon. Her chest is alot clearer than it was. She is actually coughing all the junk loose now. She's been a pretty happy baby girl for the last 24 hours or so. It's good to see her smiling again. I think we are finally out of the woods, as far Delaney goes. I'm positive that she will be OK. I know it's because of the power of prayer and positive thinking. Her skin color is even looking better. She's not as pale as she was. I am over the moon with her improvement!!!! I can't wait to bring her home. The doctor said that we will bring her home soon, as long as she continues to do as well as she has over the last 12-24 hours. YAY!!!!
Paisley is doing OK today, so far. It's going to take her some time to feel better again. The flu has really taken a toll on her. She's exhausted so we've been letting her sleep as much as possible. The nurses say she'll feel better when we can start getting her to eat. She hasn't eaten since last Thursday night. She won't even touch a happy meal!! However, she got up this morning and sat in a chair beside the bed with her coloring book. When the nurse came in to change her IV she asked for a grilled cheese sandwich and a salad! The nurse said she can have whatever she wants to eat as long as she at least makes an effort at eating. She's sent someone down to the cafeteria to fetch her sandwich and salad. What a strange breakfast! I'm not complaining though. Pray that she eats it!!!! I want all 3 of my girls home again. We need to get her strong again to make that possible.
I have been around the hospitals so much lately I worry that I may be catching a "bug" of some kind. I feel a little drained this morning and it's a bit hard to breathe. I hope I'm not trying to catch flu. That would be terrible. I don't have time to be sick right now!
On a final note (then I swear, I'll end this novel length post!) I want to thank everyone who has been praying for my family. We will never know how to adequately thank you for caring about us-perfect strangers. It really touches my heart to know that so many people are pulling for us. Bless you all!!! We love all of our new friends and I say a special prayer for you all each night before I try to sleep. The Lord has blessed us with great friendships. Thank you Jill. You will never know how much you are appreciated!
Also, I love reading the kind comments from various visitors. I will try to visit your blogs and leave return comments as soon as life slows down a little. I want to thank everyone personally. However (and please don't take this the wrong way), a few people have left comments wondering if maybe there was something wrong with our house (like mold) that might be causing all of our health issues. I really want to address this. I can assure you that there is not a thing wrong with my house. There is no way that any of these health issues could be our fault for living in a poorly upkept (is that a word?) home. Our home is fairly new and very well insulated. We have heat, air, and running water. We do not live in squalor. My husband's health problems were genetic. He had to be born with Chiari and atrial ventricular tachycardia. The symptoms just weren't present until he got a little older. Destiny has always been a sensitive child. Most people don't know this because I don't tell them, but, Destiny is a special child. She has developmental delays in speech and language. She is also in special education classes at school. She is labeled as a child with special needs and I attend yearly IEP meetings to help set goals for her in school. She does not think like other children her age, and often wears her heart on her sleeve. I guess it should be no surprise that she has anxiety problems. She doesn't deal with things like you or I do. Paisley has always had asthma and breathing problems. This is not her first hospitalization for pneumonia. It will most likely not be her last. She has a weak immune system. We hate it, but that's how it is. Delaney was preemie and things were not fully developed with her. She has had alot of problems with her lungs and stomach mainly. We have had her in the hospital numerous times for various reasons. She has a cardiologist, pulminologist, and a gastrointerologist. She is on an elemental formula for children with feeding tubes and milk protein allergies. She also has a weak immune system and is very susceptible to infection. We hate it-but we love her and we deal with it. Please do not assume that our living situation is the cause for any of our health issues because I promise you- if that was even a remote possibility-we would have moved a long time ago! Thank you for your prayers. We greatly appreciate them. God Bless you all!!!!

Thank You All

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who are praying for us right now. I know that the Lord is watching out for my girls. He will protect them and heal them on his time. I am just patiently waiting. In the mean time, keep up the prayers and I love getting the comments. It's very uplifting to know that our friends are in our corner. Will post more later. Paisley is not going home anytime soon, so we'll be here.
In Christ,