I Ran Away

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

I ran away. I just couldn't stand feeling the way I've been feeling. Trapped is a good way to describe it. Trapped in circumstances that I have no control over. I'm just one of those people that can't stand feeling out of control. I've felt so lost for so long. I know my family depends on me, but what good am I to them if I feel this way. What good am I if I can't find myself anymore. So, that's what I did. I hopped in the car with my sister and I ran away to find ME again. I took my camera and left home at 4am and decided that I wasn't coming back until I had time to clear my mind. I knew it could take me hours (days really) but I had to find myself. We set out in the dark and drove until we felt like stopping. I really had no clear idea of where I would end up. I don't think I cared-just as long as I could outrun the thoughts that have been littering my mind for weeks now. You know what I discovered? You really can't outrun your thoughts. You just kind of take them with you when you go. Did I find myself? Sort of. Turns out, I've been here all along. I'm tired and I'm constantly busy, and I'm feeling selfish for wanting it to be all about me every once in awhile. Truth be told, I don't think running away solved anything. Watching the sunrise over the mountains certainly didn't help me find the answers or solutions I've been searching for. I know that there are no easy answers or a quick fix for life's little bumps. No, escaping to God's country certainly didn't solve anything, but it sure didn't stop me from enjoying the view!