Updates and Ramblings

No new photos to post this morning. My sweet Paisley just wasn't feeling like having her picture taken. Last night was a rough one for all of us. Paisley's fever spiked at about 10 last night and we ended up having to cover her in wash cloths. She was burning up with fever and throwing up all over the place. She had to have more lab work and a respiratory therapist spent a large portion of the night in the room with us.

My husband called me about Delaney at about 2 this morning. She was screaming and crying for me. He said her fever was up a little over 102 and she was wanting to be held constantly. I really wanted to be there for her, but her daddy was there and I knew that here is where I need to be. Destiny is doing OK. Still no word yet on the fainting spells, but I'm told that it may be a few more days. Still playing the waiting game. I spent some time with her yesterday. She is such a little worrier. She was asking about her sisters. She wants to be home with her family more than anything. She just keeps asking about Paisley. Those 2 are so close. They are just like best friends and it really hurts them when they can't be together. Both of them have cried so much this week over having to be apart from each other.

Delaney is really such a "Mommy's baby" and it kills me that I haven't been able to be there more. There's so much I miss with her. We have this routine for our days together and I hate to think that by the time this is all over (and we are all home again) she won't be interested in returning to "business as usual" with me. I love her snuggles. She is the funniest sleeper. Like a little bird. When I put her to sleep at night she has to be cradled like a baby with her head in the crook of my arm, her face nestled in my chest. I cover her up from head to toe with her blankie. She likes to have the blankie all the way up to her head with only her little nose sticking out. It's almost like covering a bird cage at night so that the birds inside will be quiet! She sticks her little foot in my hand and goes right to sleep. I'm not sure why, but she always makes me hold that same little foot. She just WILL NOT drift off to sleep unless I'm holding her foot. It's probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

When Paisley was little bitty, she would always hold onto a handful of my hair while trying to drift off to sleep. As she got older and began sleeping in her own bed, the routine changed and she would hold the corner of her blankie while drifting off. She hasn't needed or wanted my to cuddle her to sleep at night in YEARS!!! But last night, I climbed in her hospital bed with her and just held on to her about all night. She was scared and feeling really bad. After a few minutes of laying there with her like that, it occurred to me that she had reached out and put her little hand in my hair. She had wound one little strand of my hair around and around her little fingers. I hadn't thought about that in years and thought that she had forgotten or never even realized she used to do that. It made me feel good to be needed by my "usually independent" child.

I've spent quite a bit of time singing to the 3 of them lately too. They always had their own songs as babies. I started with Destiny when we fist brought her home from the hospital as a newborn. She loved to hear BABY MINE...the song from Dumbo. She would just sigh and snuggle right up against me and drift right off to sleep. Even now, as an 8 year old "big girl" she still snuggles against me and her little eyes get heavy with sleep when I start that song. After Paisley was born I couldn't sing that song to her. That had somehow become Destiny's song and I felt dis-loyal sharing that with someone other than Destiny. So we started our own song, Paisley and I, together. I remember holding my newborn Paisley in the labor & delivery, singing the theme song to MARY TYLER MOORE. I know, that's weird, but Paisley loved it. Still does. Makes her smile. She calls it our song. And really, it is. When Delaney came along she was so sick we didn't know if we would even get to bring her home. I remember the first time I ever got to hold her. I placed her on my chest, skin to skin, and the first song that came to heart was YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE. I must have sang that song to her a million times a day. We would just sit there, rocking and singing, tears rolling down my face. I remember how hard it ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS hit me when I got to the part where it says "please don't take my sunshine away!" At the time it felt like the most important prayer I could utter. Anyway....I'm rambling.

I will try to update later today, but for now, I believe I'll go snuggle my Puddleduck (Paisley)!!!

Please keep praying.